China’s Confucian roots that once enlightened thousand years of oriental civilization were covered with frost and could only be found in South Korea where Confucian values are still treasured.
Mok Tze Ching
The Three Cardinal Guides, that is, “the ruler guides his subject, the father guides his son, and the husband guides his wife”, were backbones of the ancient Chinese society, summing up as respect for seniority either in age, family or social status. As Hong Kong had been colonized and westernized for more than a century, youngsters here do not respect their seniors in a traditional way, whereas the Koreans still do it the Confucian way starting from greetings.
Korean people identify seniority in a relationship at the first time they meet, and honorifics are mainly used for someone who is older or in a higher position at school, workplace or at home. “The first thing we ask when meeting new people is their ages. We use polite language when meeting someone for the first time because we do not want to be too rude for using casual language,” said Bo-gyun Jung, a Korean man. “In most cases, we need to ask for permission to use casual language to someone who is older than us to talk with,” he added.
hierarchical
Don’t forget to be polite
Respect for seniority is not merely a mouthpiece as the Koreans show it like Confucius himself. The superior man does not, even for the space of a single meal, act contrary to virtue, even when they have a “shot”. Korean people like to drink during a meal, partly because of the root of 5000-year Chinese Dionysus Culture, partly because of an attempt to relieve the rather tense hierarchical relationship, like the ancient Chinese did.
“We see drinking as a way to build up relationship with family members, friends and colleagues. It is a chance for us to let loose and speak out something that we are hardly to say in formal social events,” said Woon-hee Jung, a native Korean girl who has lived in Hong Kong for one year.
Even so, the seniority stratification is still observed in the drinking “ritual”. “Drinking etiquette is very important in Korea and it is rude if you do not follow those rules,” said Woon-hee, “To show respect, people usually pour and receive drinks with both hands, especially drinking with seniors. Moreover, juniors have to hold their glasses a little bit lower when tossing glasses with someone of higher social rankings.”
Stay solo for impoliteness
It is impolite to pour your own drink in a society where togetherness is highly regarded. “Koreans always pour drinks for each other as we believe this means familiarity and friendship. There is also a superstition that people will stay solo for three years if they pour their own drinks,” she explained.
Koreans believe the first glass is most important. One way to show respect is to drink the first glass down in one, if you go to a business gathering, meeting your parents, dining with professors or anyone you respect. “Another way to show respect is to turn their head to the side and cover their glasses with the left hand when sipping down alcohol with seniors.”
Unlike the Koreans, youngsters in Hong Kong enjoy a much westernized and relaxed relationship with their seniors as their attitude towards seniors has changed drastically from the past centuries. Confucian deep roots are lost in Hong Kong but found in our neighbouring country now.
